GUEST POST: And Now For Something Completely Different

I use cis as a pejorative on occasion. Mainly when I refer to meathead alpha males. But it’s extension comes from political correctness. Transgender policing of certain words, even clinical words among the psychiatric community. Pressure to change deep rooted terms to make some people feel less alienated. “Cis” is the replacement for the gender studies term “gender-normative”, it’s implication is that the majority of people who’re totally fine with themselves as whatever they might’ve been born as. The opposite of which is “transitive”. Typically, a gender-normative person will never know their status as either cis or normative because, it is socially established that there is no need to question these things. Trans*persons are forced to learn the lingo and all the definitions as part of a cycle of psychotherapy that can last several years. It’s like private tutoring with a psych tech. They’ll learn a ridiculous amount of jargon that means absolutely nothing to “Joe-alpha-male” or “Susie-lipstick”. There is no Cis community; that is called the world. There is a historical truth about flailing against the world, that truth is, it does not work. So as a Trans woman wakes up and get ready to start her day, she goes into it with a sense that “I can have all that I want”. This is a gender-normative response to a world that will not budge. Cis can be the “The Man” who keeps them down. And remaining the underdog allows trans* individuals to see themselves as hurt by people who are only approaching this whole gender subject as newbies. Reflect honest ignorance with hate and rejection. If a Trans woman see herself as a victim, and as a victim she becomes a pity party, she flashes hate and anger towards those who’ll never understand their link between sex and gender, calls the ignorant person an idiot by using cis-this and cis-that against them. It’s a small wonder why no one wants to hear that garbage anymore. No one wants to hear that you want legal-rights that you already have. No one wants to hear that you get an erection while wearing women’s underwear and want advice on how to tuck better. If you were an honestly Trans woman, getting dressed up will not give you erections. That is called transvestism.

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Bearded Lady Beats The Bullies

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Redefining Reality #redefiningrealness

Adorable.

Adorable.

Janet Mock was born a boy named Charles in Hawaii. It seems, from reading this account of his early childhood, that he, like many other gay children, exhibited signs of gender non-conformity. And it seems, like many other gay children, he was punished for it.

Once, when I was 5-years-old, a little girl who lived next door to my grandmother dared me to put on a muumuu and run across a nearby parking lot. So I did. I threw it on, hiked it up in one hand, and ran like hell. It felt amazing to be in a dress. But suddenly my grandmother appeared, a look of horror on her face. I knew immediately that I had crossed some kind of line. After yelling at me, she banished me to our patio, where I played quietly with my sumo action figures for a while. I loved them because they had long hair, and they were the only “dolls” OK for me, a boy, to play with.

I can relate. As I have detailed here, it’s hard not conforming to sex stereotypes. Gender is a vicious system that says girls are supposed to act one way and boys are supposed to act another way. For those of us who don’t fall in line, life can be brutal.

It didn’t take very long before the social cues got louder and clearer. My parents started scolding me over the way I walked and held my hands. I learned to hide aspects of my personality. Playing with girls was fine, for example, but playing with their Barbies was something I could do only behind closed doors. After my parents split, my mom said my younger brother and I needed a strong male role model and sent us to live with our dad in Oakland, California. Stern and critical, my father couldn’t accept how feminine and dainty I was in comparison to my rough-and-tumble brother. “Get outside and play!” he would bark. 

Things got better for Gays Like Us, for a while, as the “Gay Rights Movement” took off. But something happened on the way to Gay Liberation – Gender Identity happened. And us Girly Gay Men and Butch Lesbians all slowly realized that the things that Made Us Seem Gay as children now made us easy targets of both homophobic parents and a conservative culture that demands that we torture our perfect, healthy bodies to conform to what “a Man must look like” or “a Woman must look like.”

It was my father who first dared to ask the question: You’re not gay, are you? I was 8 and wasn’t even sure what that meant, but I knew from his tone that it was unacceptable. “No!” I shouted defensively.

Janet, I’m sorry that your homophobic parents brainwashed you into thinking that your fagginess made you a Woman. It didn’t make you a Woman, any more than my dykeyness makes me a Man.

The problem isn’t that people aren’t respecting your pronouns, Janet, or refusing to cater to your ridiculous demands that you have “always been a woman.”

The problem is Gender.

And the problem, at this point, is a GLBT Community that has embraced Gender to advance a conservative agenda that tells us that “being a Woman” means traveling thousands of miles to have a Thai doctor turn your healthy penis into a hole. That tells us that “being a Woman” means “I also liked playing with dolls and wearing dresses.”

I spent 10 days in the hospital recovery room, doped up on pain relievers. During the operation, my surgeon had masterfully refashioned the tissue and nerves from my male organs to construct a vagina. Finally, every part of me made perfect sense. I didn’t have to “tuck” anymore. 

My heart breaks for you, Janet. It really does.

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Fucking Trans Women #MiraBellwether @harmonysamiruhh

CaptureIf you think transwomen are actually women, here, read Mira Bellwether’s disgusting zine (he is now charging $10 for it) and, after you bleach your eyes, tell me if you still think transwomen are women.

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Gender Says I Might Be A Man #genderhurts

This is a response to Mr. Doug and his “female shift

Both sexist men and transwomen have spent lots of time telling me how I’m actually a man.

Funny, that.

 

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Dear FTMs – You are Women #genderhurts

Sisters, I understand the WHY TRANSITION. I do. I don’t blame you for the conditions of our culture that have brainwashed you into thinking your “innate sense” of “being a boy” actually makes you male.

The problem is Gender. The problem is Society.

You and your body are not the problem.

And I will always love and support you, no matter the ridiculous choices you make, and no matter how many times you tell me to die in a fire.

Love,

Cathy Brennan

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Gender Fluidity = A Whole Lotta Sperm

This is Doug.

Doug is a Gay Man who believes that stereotypes of how a Woman speaks make him a Woman. In this video, he speaks “like a Man.”

In this video, he speaks “like a Woman,” as envisioned by a porn sick Man who believes age of consent laws should be lowered.

Do you see the stereotypes? Do you see the Woman-hatred? Do you see the Man?

Do you see why Women object to this concept that “being a Woman” is as simple as “changing your voice” or “getting a surgical fuck hole“?

We object.

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Julia Serano Has No Clothes, and Much like the Emperor, He’s a Man

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“Once we accept that on some level feminine expression is natural, that for some of us—whether female, male, both, or neither—it resonates with us on a deep profound level . . . once we accept this, then we can tackle the real problem: the fact that femininity is seen as inferior to masculinity, both in straight settings and in queer and feminist circles. Once we accept the fact that femininity exists and it needs no explanation, then we can focus on debunking the countless double standards, like that masculinity is strong while femininity is weak, that masculinity is tough while femininity is fragile, that masculinity is practical while femininity is frivolous, that masculinity is active while femininity is passive, that masculinity is rational while femininity is overly emotional, and of course, that masculinity is natural while femininity is artificial. Once we get beyond having to account for why we are feminine, then we can finally make the case that all of the dismissive connotations and meanings that other people associate with feminine expression are merely misogynistic presumptions on their part.”

You can read this garbage here if you are feeling sleepy.

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Telephone

RANCOM!

Lately, I’ve become convinced that politics on the internet is a giant game of telephone.

[A] game played around the world, in which one person whispers a message to another, which is passed through a line of people until the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the retellings, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one uttered by the first.

A great example is the ever-popular “genderbread person”.

1. The above image (circa 2005) is prototypical. Sex, gender roles, orientation and identity are listed in a lunch menu format and assigned to regions of a body. The implication is that sex is what you are physically, orientation is how you feel and identity is how you think about yourself. Gender roles are off to the side somewhere, presumably in the garage or the kitchen. “Sexual…

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Sex Changes: The paperback

christinebenvenuto

 

With the arrival of the brand new paperback edition of Sex Changes in my mailbox (St. Martin’s Press’ official publication date is November 26) come reflections on the year since the book’s publication.

It’s been a year of nasty surprises as, perhaps naively, I never imagined that my ex and cohorts would attack and attempt to censor me.  It’s also been a year of deeply heartwarming encouragement from friends, family, acquaintances and strangers: readers.

Early in the year my incredibly supportive agent and editor helped me to understand my memoir as belonging in a collection of books best titled: Stories Someone Doesn’t Want Told. In this light they offered an array of examples, from memoirs exploring the writer’s less-than-pristine personal experience of a well-regarded public figure, such as the beautiful and evocative A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage by Sally Ryder Brady, to, at the other…

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